A Year On
I was reminded of my blog by a comment from an anonymous reader. So much has happened in a year. I spent the worst winter of my life. My health hit rock-bottom and hospital visits became routine.
Got pneumonia (misdiagnosed as swine flu). Spent 9 or more hours at the A&E and left without a diagnosis, but my GP sorted me out with antibiotics, bless her. Then I had a car crash and my beautiful Renault Laguna was written off. It wasn't my fault. The bike rider was young and inexperienced and I just happened to be in front of him. I learned about the British legal system the hard way. Never, ever give a statement to the police! Never ever fight your case because you'll end up paying much more and get more points. Now I have a criminal record because I was convicted of 'driving without due care and attention' due to a Jewish lady giving false witness. Fantastic, eh? Another gruesome day in my life waiting at the Magistrates' Court all day. Defendants get to sit in hard metal seats in the corridor whereas witnesses get to sit in nice quiet rooms with upholstered armchairs. Not a water fountain anywhere. At least the toilet was clean.
But even the car accident, disrupting as it may have been, could not compare to my GP telling me just before Christmas that they thought I had cancer. I was given a series of tests and eventually was put under the care of the Hematology Dept. at UCLH. Needles, blood tests, PET scans. The last scan was a horrible experience. I had to lie down on a narrow ledge for over an hour and be totally still whilst my body went through the tunnel. I never lie down! My body just can't handle being horizontal or still for more than 5 minutes. So I was in tremendous pain and was crying for the last 15 minutes of the scan, so much that the people had to come in and hold me still and try to keep my spirits up. The scan did not show an uptake of glucose (apparently if you have blood cancer, the cells feed on the glucose and you can see them).
I so needed my family these trying months! But being alone, just me and my kid, my only consolation was food. So I put an incredible amount of weight on in a short period of time. My last weigh in was 188 kgs, I think. So now I am fatter than I was before I did my gastric band operation. But most people who did their banding around the same time as me have also put on weight. Not all of them of course, maybe a couple of people have succeeded, but the rest are struggling. So even an operation is not the end of this journey.
Talking of operations I went to UCLH and saw Mr Adamo who is now the Head of Bariatrics (or so he thinks). He put me in the trouble of visiting him for nothing. Says he sent me a letter to say they won't operate on me but I never got that letter. As I found out later, Mr Adamo only sent the letter to my GP - so disorganised they are at the Bariatrics! What upset me the most was this man's arrogance. He thinks he is God. He just dismissed me without even giving me a reason. I was sat in the wheelchair crying my eyes out thinking that they are leaving me no other option but to fall prey to Greek surgeons in my despair.
Anyway, I am not moaning. I am alive and whilst I breathe, there is hope of a better future. My daughter is growing and I have written two books (well one was written years ago but had a touch-up this winter.) I haven't submitted them to a publisher, yet, because I don't have the confidence. The more I read books written by master storytellers, the more I cringe at my efforts :) But one day... maybe... who knows?
Got pneumonia (misdiagnosed as swine flu). Spent 9 or more hours at the A&E and left without a diagnosis, but my GP sorted me out with antibiotics, bless her. Then I had a car crash and my beautiful Renault Laguna was written off. It wasn't my fault. The bike rider was young and inexperienced and I just happened to be in front of him. I learned about the British legal system the hard way. Never, ever give a statement to the police! Never ever fight your case because you'll end up paying much more and get more points. Now I have a criminal record because I was convicted of 'driving without due care and attention' due to a Jewish lady giving false witness. Fantastic, eh? Another gruesome day in my life waiting at the Magistrates' Court all day. Defendants get to sit in hard metal seats in the corridor whereas witnesses get to sit in nice quiet rooms with upholstered armchairs. Not a water fountain anywhere. At least the toilet was clean.
But even the car accident, disrupting as it may have been, could not compare to my GP telling me just before Christmas that they thought I had cancer. I was given a series of tests and eventually was put under the care of the Hematology Dept. at UCLH. Needles, blood tests, PET scans. The last scan was a horrible experience. I had to lie down on a narrow ledge for over an hour and be totally still whilst my body went through the tunnel. I never lie down! My body just can't handle being horizontal or still for more than 5 minutes. So I was in tremendous pain and was crying for the last 15 minutes of the scan, so much that the people had to come in and hold me still and try to keep my spirits up. The scan did not show an uptake of glucose (apparently if you have blood cancer, the cells feed on the glucose and you can see them).
I so needed my family these trying months! But being alone, just me and my kid, my only consolation was food. So I put an incredible amount of weight on in a short period of time. My last weigh in was 188 kgs, I think. So now I am fatter than I was before I did my gastric band operation. But most people who did their banding around the same time as me have also put on weight. Not all of them of course, maybe a couple of people have succeeded, but the rest are struggling. So even an operation is not the end of this journey.
Talking of operations I went to UCLH and saw Mr Adamo who is now the Head of Bariatrics (or so he thinks). He put me in the trouble of visiting him for nothing. Says he sent me a letter to say they won't operate on me but I never got that letter. As I found out later, Mr Adamo only sent the letter to my GP - so disorganised they are at the Bariatrics! What upset me the most was this man's arrogance. He thinks he is God. He just dismissed me without even giving me a reason. I was sat in the wheelchair crying my eyes out thinking that they are leaving me no other option but to fall prey to Greek surgeons in my despair.
Anyway, I am not moaning. I am alive and whilst I breathe, there is hope of a better future. My daughter is growing and I have written two books (well one was written years ago but had a touch-up this winter.) I haven't submitted them to a publisher, yet, because I don't have the confidence. The more I read books written by master storytellers, the more I cringe at my efforts :) But one day... maybe... who knows?
posted by Tania at 11:44 AM
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