It works!
Today I had my first PB (productive burping) and it ended up in gentle vomiting. I brought up the chocolate ice cream cake that I had eaten 2 hours after lunch and the pan au chocolat. My band works! Hurray!!
I really don't understand myself. I feel like there are two people in me: the one that knows she has to diet and lose weight and the other who wants to continue the previous life without much thought.
So today I was driving back from Kifissia having picked up our new passports and mom asked me to stop at AB in Erythrea. Next to AB is a new boulangerie that looks quite yummy. So I said I was going to check it out whilst mom picked a couple of things from the supermarket next door. I go into Eric Kayser's boulangerie and I am stunned by the artistic displays. So I buy a tsoureki, some croissants, a pan au chocolat and a bacon pattie. The time was 11.30. I meet mom in the car, she says she is cooking macaroni with tomato sauce and cheese. She has this special way of serving it by pouring hot butter over the dish and thus making the cheese melt. Well, who can resist that? So I put the thought of breakfast away, but I couldn't help myself whilst she was getting lunch ready and I ate the bacon pattie. It was good. Not fantastic as it was cold. Then I tried to be sensible for lunch but I drank a couple of fingers of beer and ate a plate of macaroni. I did not feel heavy or anything, more thirsty so I drank 2-3 glasses of cold water. We went to lie down as is the custom in Greece. Mom has airconditioning at home so I sometimes prefer to join her for a nap. Got up an hour later. Thirsty. Got some water. Then saw the ice cream cake I had bought yesterday (to celebrate my daughter's first proper shoes)... That was it. Out comes the knife and a piece of chocolate ice cream cake goes on a plate. Half an hour later baby wakes up so I give her something to drink and give her a piece of croissant. Without thought, part of it goes in my mouth. Then some more... and more. Suddenly I feel pain inside and I want to burp but can't. I think if I stand up and calm down the pain will go away. Nope. It doesn't. Baby makes a mess by throwing my glass of water on the floor. Mom starts yelling at me but all I can think is 'quick, get to the toilet!' True enough, I got there just in time. After three waves, I felt better. Mom was upset and said dryly that the band is working and that should teach me. Yes, it is working. And sadly I can no longer eat pastry products and get away with it. So goodbye to lots of pointless calories. I gave mom the Eric Kayser loot with my best wishes.
I am not eating tonight. Believe it or not, I am still full. It baffles me how I can eat a little and be alright and sometimes eat huge quantities and desire more. My other self will always put her hand out to reach food - any food. I must stop her. But I realise it will take time to unlearn habits of a lifetime.
Strangely enough, I feel good this evening, it is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know now I can trust the band where I can't trust myself. That is a great consolation.
I really don't understand myself. I feel like there are two people in me: the one that knows she has to diet and lose weight and the other who wants to continue the previous life without much thought.
So today I was driving back from Kifissia having picked up our new passports and mom asked me to stop at AB in Erythrea. Next to AB is a new boulangerie that looks quite yummy. So I said I was going to check it out whilst mom picked a couple of things from the supermarket next door. I go into Eric Kayser's boulangerie and I am stunned by the artistic displays. So I buy a tsoureki, some croissants, a pan au chocolat and a bacon pattie. The time was 11.30. I meet mom in the car, she says she is cooking macaroni with tomato sauce and cheese. She has this special way of serving it by pouring hot butter over the dish and thus making the cheese melt. Well, who can resist that? So I put the thought of breakfast away, but I couldn't help myself whilst she was getting lunch ready and I ate the bacon pattie. It was good. Not fantastic as it was cold. Then I tried to be sensible for lunch but I drank a couple of fingers of beer and ate a plate of macaroni. I did not feel heavy or anything, more thirsty so I drank 2-3 glasses of cold water. We went to lie down as is the custom in Greece. Mom has airconditioning at home so I sometimes prefer to join her for a nap. Got up an hour later. Thirsty. Got some water. Then saw the ice cream cake I had bought yesterday (to celebrate my daughter's first proper shoes)... That was it. Out comes the knife and a piece of chocolate ice cream cake goes on a plate. Half an hour later baby wakes up so I give her something to drink and give her a piece of croissant. Without thought, part of it goes in my mouth. Then some more... and more. Suddenly I feel pain inside and I want to burp but can't. I think if I stand up and calm down the pain will go away. Nope. It doesn't. Baby makes a mess by throwing my glass of water on the floor. Mom starts yelling at me but all I can think is 'quick, get to the toilet!' True enough, I got there just in time. After three waves, I felt better. Mom was upset and said dryly that the band is working and that should teach me. Yes, it is working. And sadly I can no longer eat pastry products and get away with it. So goodbye to lots of pointless calories. I gave mom the Eric Kayser loot with my best wishes.
I am not eating tonight. Believe it or not, I am still full. It baffles me how I can eat a little and be alright and sometimes eat huge quantities and desire more. My other self will always put her hand out to reach food - any food. I must stop her. But I realise it will take time to unlearn habits of a lifetime.
Strangely enough, I feel good this evening, it is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know now I can trust the band where I can't trust myself. That is a great consolation.
posted by Tania at 10:07 AM
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