Miracle cure
I saw my surgeon today for what I thought was going to be the last follow up before I fly back to England. He commented that my body is taking shape but I complained that I felt heavier, so he pointed me to the scales. I stood on them and OMG! I have put on 3 kgs since last time!
I don’t know what is to account for this weight gain. OK let us discount the 2 kgs that I had lost due to vomiting. That leaves us 1 kg that I have truly put on. I do feel bloated and was constipated at the beginning of the week, so this may have something to do with it. Oh how I hope the weight is just waste material waiting to come out! LOL But my brain tells me differently. It points to the spaghetti Bolognese my mother sent me down a few days ago… a huge bowl and how I forced myself to eat most of it because of sheer gluttony. It points to the ice cream sticks I have been having. It points to the 2 cans of beer I had lately. It points to the heaps of cheese I ate the day before yesterday and yesterday along with fresh sesame bread. Anyway, whatever I have put on should be taken into consideration with whatever I should have lost in this period of time and when one looks at it this way, it looks rather grim, indeed.
It’s been a rough time for me ever since the beginning of September. The weather changed dramatically and it became more sober and less hot. The winds have picked up again. We had to bring out the blankets in the night and leave only a small part of the bedroom window open. Both my daughter and I have been sneezing. My sneezing is ought to clearing out my drawers and cupboards and dealing with dust dating from 1999. But my daughter got a slight cold, so out came the bodysuits for the night.
The days of my departure are approaching fast and I have been trying to partially pack our suitcases. It’s been a long ‘holiday’ without the holiday aspect. I am sad because I didn’t get to go to an open-air cinema or to have a beach break as I had wanted. I am also sad because I am leaving my mother and she is going to miss out on my daughter’s development over the next 10 months or so. I have invited her to visit us in winter but she says she is all out of strength and does not wish to leave her home.
I feel stressed for many reasons. One of them is I had two periods within a space of 20 days. Period 1 was heavy but lasted little. Period 2 (a fortnight later) was light but lasted longer. Obviously one cannot help but wonder what does this mean. Is it a missed period from June that had to appear now? Is it fibroids? Is it something worse? Or is it the menopause? A man would not understand these worries, but I am sure that females would be able to relate to it.
As for my general condition, that is not as good as it was. Like I said I am bloated, my feet and lower legs are swollen incredibly, my back is aching, my knees are killing me and I find it hard to mobilise again and, of course, resting in bed does not help as the back pain makes it uncomfortable to lie down for long stretches of time.
I just feel in need of a great big hug and the only person who can give it to me in England and I won’t be seeing him for a few days still. I so wanted to go back 150 kgs so that people would be able to tell the difference! I so wanted to be a success but so far I am just dilly dallying and I am not sure it is entirely my fault.
The gastric band is not a miracle cure it seems…
Anyway, I am going to see my surgeon for the last time next Wednesday and hopefully I will have some better news to report by then.
Wish me luck, please!
PS: I now have a fill of 7.5 mls and am not allowed solids for 3 days. Today is just liquids, tomorrow I may be allowed a yoghurt and the last day I must eat everything mashed.
I don’t know what is to account for this weight gain. OK let us discount the 2 kgs that I had lost due to vomiting. That leaves us 1 kg that I have truly put on. I do feel bloated and was constipated at the beginning of the week, so this may have something to do with it. Oh how I hope the weight is just waste material waiting to come out! LOL But my brain tells me differently. It points to the spaghetti Bolognese my mother sent me down a few days ago… a huge bowl and how I forced myself to eat most of it because of sheer gluttony. It points to the ice cream sticks I have been having. It points to the 2 cans of beer I had lately. It points to the heaps of cheese I ate the day before yesterday and yesterday along with fresh sesame bread. Anyway, whatever I have put on should be taken into consideration with whatever I should have lost in this period of time and when one looks at it this way, it looks rather grim, indeed.
It’s been a rough time for me ever since the beginning of September. The weather changed dramatically and it became more sober and less hot. The winds have picked up again. We had to bring out the blankets in the night and leave only a small part of the bedroom window open. Both my daughter and I have been sneezing. My sneezing is ought to clearing out my drawers and cupboards and dealing with dust dating from 1999. But my daughter got a slight cold, so out came the bodysuits for the night.
The days of my departure are approaching fast and I have been trying to partially pack our suitcases. It’s been a long ‘holiday’ without the holiday aspect. I am sad because I didn’t get to go to an open-air cinema or to have a beach break as I had wanted. I am also sad because I am leaving my mother and she is going to miss out on my daughter’s development over the next 10 months or so. I have invited her to visit us in winter but she says she is all out of strength and does not wish to leave her home.
I feel stressed for many reasons. One of them is I had two periods within a space of 20 days. Period 1 was heavy but lasted little. Period 2 (a fortnight later) was light but lasted longer. Obviously one cannot help but wonder what does this mean. Is it a missed period from June that had to appear now? Is it fibroids? Is it something worse? Or is it the menopause? A man would not understand these worries, but I am sure that females would be able to relate to it.
As for my general condition, that is not as good as it was. Like I said I am bloated, my feet and lower legs are swollen incredibly, my back is aching, my knees are killing me and I find it hard to mobilise again and, of course, resting in bed does not help as the back pain makes it uncomfortable to lie down for long stretches of time.
I just feel in need of a great big hug and the only person who can give it to me in England and I won’t be seeing him for a few days still. I so wanted to go back 150 kgs so that people would be able to tell the difference! I so wanted to be a success but so far I am just dilly dallying and I am not sure it is entirely my fault.
The gastric band is not a miracle cure it seems…
Anyway, I am going to see my surgeon for the last time next Wednesday and hopefully I will have some better news to report by then.
Wish me luck, please!
PS: I now have a fill of 7.5 mls and am not allowed solids for 3 days. Today is just liquids, tomorrow I may be allowed a yoghurt and the last day I must eat everything mashed.
posted by Tania at 12:07 AM
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