It doesn't make sense
Breakfast: half a glass of chocolate milk and one small bowl of chocolate cushions cereal (dry).
Lunch: boiled greens and leftovers of seafood selection. Also ate 3-4 breadsticks wrapped in wafer thin ham.
Mid afternoon: cold coffee with milk and sugar.
Dinner: 1.5 chicken legs with okra, tzatziki and one courgette. One slice of ham and one fork of minced meat from pan. 3 fingers of beer plus water.
Mom said that my dinner was too large for a person who is dieting and has a ring around her stomach. Minutes later she brings a vanilla ice cream cone... I said I was full, so she says 'give it to your daughter'. But daughter can't eat the nuts on top so I ate them for her. Then she lost interest midway through the cone so I finished the rest for her - it was a compulsive act, not hunger. I was already full, but still I ate it.
The surgeon said he was not worried, but why on earth am I able to eat so much? My intention was to eat 1 chicken leg with okra but as I was eating and feeding the baby who was making me trouble by feeding the dog and patting her fur then putting her hands in her mouth... I got stressed so I did not register the food that I was eating. I guess that is the excuse. My brain was absent from dinner. But still?
Tomorrow I hope to do better. If not, I am ringing surgeon for advice Friday before he takes off for his vacation.
At least today I managed to wash some clothes and tidy up my flat. But my feet are so swollen, just like the old days and my calf is aching so I am worried I might have another blood clot. I will hope not, I will put the aching to having strained my muscles but as my INR was below therapeutic level for so long, your guess is as good as mine.
My sister's feet are also swollen. She has prominent veins and lots of broken veins in her legs. Now she also has some weird red marks on her sheens which look terribly like lupus. For her sake, I hope it is not, but she won't go see a doctor.
Today I tried to talk to her and explain my eldest brother's feelings. He took offense because as usual my sister came for a few days and began directing the household. I told her that sometimes her motives are good but the way she goes about it causes friction and others won't accept she is right because she is rubbing them the wrong way. I should be preaching to myself as I am guilty of the same at times. But I don't want my siblings to be angry, I hate people fighting/arguing. Why can't we get along?
Then there is the war that Israel is waging against Lebanon. My aunt Mary is so against Arabs and she kept saying the most stupid things this evening like 'well Israel warned them to leave the places they were going to bomb so it is their fault they have stayed.' She is making so many assumptions: that the people could actually leave, that the dead people were only in the areas that the warnings were made for, etc. Who gives the right to anyone to bomb civilians and destroy lives? I don't care if Moslems are wearing scarves and believe in Allah, they are still people. I love Lebanon - don't ask me why because I don't know. It hurts me to see that country suffer so much. The world is standing by as a spectator and I sometimes feel all alone in my frustration. Every day there are so many injustices going on in the world and we are just standing by, closing our eyes, thinking how lucky we are they are not happening to us.
It is no wonder, therefore, that I desire peace at home.
Lunch: boiled greens and leftovers of seafood selection. Also ate 3-4 breadsticks wrapped in wafer thin ham.
Mid afternoon: cold coffee with milk and sugar.
Dinner: 1.5 chicken legs with okra, tzatziki and one courgette. One slice of ham and one fork of minced meat from pan. 3 fingers of beer plus water.
Mom said that my dinner was too large for a person who is dieting and has a ring around her stomach. Minutes later she brings a vanilla ice cream cone... I said I was full, so she says 'give it to your daughter'. But daughter can't eat the nuts on top so I ate them for her. Then she lost interest midway through the cone so I finished the rest for her - it was a compulsive act, not hunger. I was already full, but still I ate it.
The surgeon said he was not worried, but why on earth am I able to eat so much? My intention was to eat 1 chicken leg with okra but as I was eating and feeding the baby who was making me trouble by feeding the dog and patting her fur then putting her hands in her mouth... I got stressed so I did not register the food that I was eating. I guess that is the excuse. My brain was absent from dinner. But still?
Tomorrow I hope to do better. If not, I am ringing surgeon for advice Friday before he takes off for his vacation.
At least today I managed to wash some clothes and tidy up my flat. But my feet are so swollen, just like the old days and my calf is aching so I am worried I might have another blood clot. I will hope not, I will put the aching to having strained my muscles but as my INR was below therapeutic level for so long, your guess is as good as mine.
My sister's feet are also swollen. She has prominent veins and lots of broken veins in her legs. Now she also has some weird red marks on her sheens which look terribly like lupus. For her sake, I hope it is not, but she won't go see a doctor.
Today I tried to talk to her and explain my eldest brother's feelings. He took offense because as usual my sister came for a few days and began directing the household. I told her that sometimes her motives are good but the way she goes about it causes friction and others won't accept she is right because she is rubbing them the wrong way. I should be preaching to myself as I am guilty of the same at times. But I don't want my siblings to be angry, I hate people fighting/arguing. Why can't we get along?
Then there is the war that Israel is waging against Lebanon. My aunt Mary is so against Arabs and she kept saying the most stupid things this evening like 'well Israel warned them to leave the places they were going to bomb so it is their fault they have stayed.' She is making so many assumptions: that the people could actually leave, that the dead people were only in the areas that the warnings were made for, etc. Who gives the right to anyone to bomb civilians and destroy lives? I don't care if Moslems are wearing scarves and believe in Allah, they are still people. I love Lebanon - don't ask me why because I don't know. It hurts me to see that country suffer so much. The world is standing by as a spectator and I sometimes feel all alone in my frustration. Every day there are so many injustices going on in the world and we are just standing by, closing our eyes, thinking how lucky we are they are not happening to us.
It is no wonder, therefore, that I desire peace at home.
posted by Tania at 10:55 AM
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